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04 abril The Up-and-DownI know it's a cliche, but I miss him like the air I breathe.
I miss his wisdom and his strength. I miss his conversation. I miss the comfort of being near him. I miss how he smells. I miss the thought of camping, of barbequing in the summer, and of sitting on the couch beside him petting the dog. I miss the power walks and the sound of that damn exercise maching in the bedroom. I miss belonging to him.
Sure, there are lots of things I won't miss too. But that's not what's caught up in the grief I feel. I cried when my father died, but I never cried like this. I have never in all my days felt grief like this. And I grieve all the more as we try to extricate ourselves away from one another. I feel like I don't belong anywhere, like I've lost my home. The meaning I created in my life was in part a reflection of his impact on me. And now that influence is missing. And to top it off, I don't think he grieves my absence at all.
That's the up-and-down of this whole process, because at the same time I feel like we made the right decision. I feel stronger than I did. I feel like life has things waiting for me. I don't want to let go, but I am. Why does it have to be this way? It's not what I want, but it's what I have to have. ComentariosPara agregar un comentario, inicia sesión con tu cuenta de Windows Live ID (si utilizas Hotmail, Messenger o Xbox LIVE, ya tienes una cuenta de Windows Live ID). Iniciar sesión ¿No tienes una cuenta de Windows Live ID? Regístrate Vínculos de referenciaLa dirección URL del vínculo de referencia de esta entrada es: http://jimmoncton.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!6068C832EEEBE3C6!2191.trak Weblogs que hacen referencia a esta entrada
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